I'm next to my school house. I notice leaves changing, breaking free from the firm grip of a branch, running from the cold wind. Winds of fall whisper about last year...
It's the fourth time now. Fourth year in the same school. But somehow this time is different. No joy in the smell of a rotting world. No smile bubbling behind my sealed lips. Even my upcoming birthday doesn't create any emotions but confusion. When? Where? Who to invite? What to wear? Food: yes or no? Drinks? Yeah, drinks are nice ... How to ... ?! oh.. Dad. You are here already. So let's go and do what we always do together just when I'm starting to have fun. Let us build a house!
Damn thing eats up all my nerves and I heard you don't grow those back like one does with finger nails. Speaking of witch - my bad habit of biting my nails has returned. I eat like a behemoth. More like two behemoths that have just smoked pot and accidentally found a shipment of Pringles. My eye wont stop twitching and I never say no to a cigarette... again. But besides that guess who sees dreams? I do. And they're pretty awesome, too. Mostly about my gal who happens to be too busy for me. Likewise but still. I desperately need some intimate attention!!!! !! !!!! !! !! ! !!! !
My current lifestyle works like a charm, don't you think? I wouldn't change a thing! .. ... -.- RIGHT!!
i have to get out of this ...this ...situation this... tiss :)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Fine Print with Side-Effects
Blogging itself isn't much fun. At first it felt like it, but after a while it gets old. After my fifteenth posting I kinda lost the habit of doing it. I guess for a reason. Now it seems more like a responsibility. I do it for her.
Come to think about it, I also don't have anything to write about. I do nothing. I wake up at 12. Fart. Scratch my nuts like any normal guy would do. Take a dump. Maybe wash my self, maybe not, depending on how many times I jack off during the switch of days. Dad comes home and takes me to our house. We build some. Back in town for 9 o'clock news. I feel tired but not sleepy. Another day basically fucked unless I call someone who shares my vision of midnight beer next to a gas station. Crap! But wait! From today you can't buy alcohol after 10 pm! Great! Life sparks up a knack. Besides every thing that is fucked up right now, the worse is probably the issue with band. No Fucking Band Room! How can this happen to us now?! We have 3 performances in August. *sigh*
At least I know I'm not the unhappiest pair of balls on this God forsaken land. And come to think about it, I'm not unhappy at all! I'm quite lucky I guess. Cool!
Now this may just be a result of blogging, but you never know. It seems that the all so awkward activity of keeping a blog has side-effects yet to be discovered. At least I hope so. I did kinda take a weight off my shoulders. But a few more things!
1) Don't ever discuss my blog under my nose! I do this for my own amusement! My blog is for cyberspace only! You can't believe everything you read online. Books are more reliable on stuff like that.
2) Don't ever talk to me about my blog. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I get off by doing this shit!
3) Look like you never read my blog. That's the look we all are going for this century!
4) I love you. Kisses!
Come to think about it, I also don't have anything to write about. I do nothing. I wake up at 12. Fart. Scratch my nuts like any normal guy would do. Take a dump. Maybe wash my self, maybe not, depending on how many times I jack off during the switch of days. Dad comes home and takes me to our house. We build some. Back in town for 9 o'clock news. I feel tired but not sleepy. Another day basically fucked unless I call someone who shares my vision of midnight beer next to a gas station. Crap! But wait! From today you can't buy alcohol after 10 pm! Great! Life sparks up a knack. Besides every thing that is fucked up right now, the worse is probably the issue with band. No Fucking Band Room! How can this happen to us now?! We have 3 performances in August. *sigh*
At least I know I'm not the unhappiest pair of balls on this God forsaken land. And come to think about it, I'm not unhappy at all! I'm quite lucky I guess. Cool!
Now this may just be a result of blogging, but you never know. It seems that the all so awkward activity of keeping a blog has side-effects yet to be discovered. At least I hope so. I did kinda take a weight off my shoulders. But a few more things!
1) Don't ever discuss my blog under my nose! I do this for my own amusement! My blog is for cyberspace only! You can't believe everything you read online. Books are more reliable on stuff like that.
2) Don't ever talk to me about my blog. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I get off by doing this shit!
3) Look like you never read my blog. That's the look we all are going for this century!
4) I love you. Kisses!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Bad Karma at My Place.
.. yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one...
and that's how you get fat when you watch tv, kids!
but now down to business. i haven't been using this kind of service for a while, nor have i written anything in english. so forgive me if i still suck at it.
there are some things i would like to share with you. for instance: forks can be highly dangerous.
knives also are known for injuring properties. and i am still building a house. it's starting to take shape. first wood structures are appearing. niiiice...
my girlfriend wants shaggy shoes, slippers of sorts. you know, the ones that have an impression of an animal on them. like a bunny or a cat who you have brutally taken and have shoved your foot in. that kind of animal shoes. she has well deserved them plus she has been sick for a while and she is in a new apartment that is cold. you get the point. (shhhh! i also want those shoes, don't tell anyone!)
i have not done anything i could talk about. seriously! i have been useless. well OK! i took my painting a step further. now it is close to completion. still some stuff to do. how old is it now? a year? damn... i'm a slow painter. i will never get rich with this pace.
on the 19th of june there was an incident. the incident looked like i finished a school. i'm not quite sure if i'm done with this school but i sure finished art and design courses. plus high-school. that makes me.. young?
now i have millions of opportunities. all doors and windows are opened for me! i can do anything i want! -.- riiiiiiiight... i'm stupid and hyper lazy. i'd have better luck making money with this blog than actually getting a proper job. and you know what else? i fucked up my literature exam score. i went postal with the pen during exams and only got 19 points. NINETEEN?! i failed! 20 points passes!!! i mean: WTF?! and it is exactly as i said before the exams. i planned this so my parents would let me take a year off or something. and now, quite frankly, i don't what to do with this time! what a fuck up i am. at least i got 78 points in english! ;P
you know what else sucks?! i haven't finished my comic book yet. it is half done (ok i lied. actually more like 1/6th done. so what?!). thought i would finish it right after finishing school, but guess what? YES! no time!... aaaaand i found out that my home lacks the karma for this kind of artsy fartsy thing. maybe it has something to do with fengshui...?! who knows... i have to get in touch with my friends and maila so i would get into dekoor! (from now on dekoor will be referred to as D-Core. it's alot fancier :P) there, i believe, i can finish something i have started some time ago.
this isn't everything yet. i would add alot of things. unfortunately i have to go now. i'll make a new post some day.
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one.....
yet again a sandwich has escaped from my tight grip. where did it go? oh well, guess i'll make another one...
and that's how you get fat when you watch tv, kids!
but now down to business. i haven't been using this kind of service for a while, nor have i written anything in english. so forgive me if i still suck at it.
there are some things i would like to share with you. for instance: forks can be highly dangerous.
knives also are known for injuring properties. and i am still building a house. it's starting to take shape. first wood structures are appearing. niiiice...
my girlfriend wants shaggy shoes, slippers of sorts. you know, the ones that have an impression of an animal on them. like a bunny or a cat who you have brutally taken and have shoved your foot in. that kind of animal shoes. she has well deserved them plus she has been sick for a while and she is in a new apartment that is cold. you get the point. (shhhh! i also want those shoes, don't tell anyone!)
i have not done anything i could talk about. seriously! i have been useless. well OK! i took my painting a step further. now it is close to completion. still some stuff to do. how old is it now? a year? damn... i'm a slow painter. i will never get rich with this pace.
on the 19th of june there was an incident. the incident looked like i finished a school. i'm not quite sure if i'm done with this school but i sure finished art and design courses. plus high-school. that makes me.. young?
now i have millions of opportunities. all doors and windows are opened for me! i can do anything i want! -.- riiiiiiiight... i'm stupid and hyper lazy. i'd have better luck making money with this blog than actually getting a proper job. and you know what else? i fucked up my literature exam score. i went postal with the pen during exams and only got 19 points. NINETEEN?! i failed! 20 points passes!!! i mean: WTF?! and it is exactly as i said before the exams. i planned this so my parents would let me take a year off or something. and now, quite frankly, i don't what to do with this time! what a fuck up i am. at least i got 78 points in english! ;P
you know what else sucks?! i haven't finished my comic book yet. it is half done (ok i lied. actually more like 1/6th done. so what?!). thought i would finish it right after finishing school, but guess what? YES! no time!... aaaaand i found out that my home lacks the karma for this kind of artsy fartsy thing. maybe it has something to do with fengshui...?! who knows... i have to get in touch with my friends and maila so i would get into dekoor! (from now on dekoor will be referred to as D-Core. it's alot fancier :P) there, i believe, i can finish something i have started some time ago.
this isn't everything yet. i would add alot of things. unfortunately i have to go now. i'll make a new post some day.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Epic Failure by the Others
today and yesterday i heard about my friend having blogs also. plus, today i heard some unexpected news about friends actually keeping track of my blog. not only have they read mine but my girlfriend's blog as well. i felt somewhat violated and vulnerable. it's ok to get comments online, but talking face to face discussing about blog entries i have made is too much. didn't think i would react that way. for a moment there i surprised myself.
so, there i was, feeling complimented and being stripped from privacy at the same time, thinking "why don't i ever read anyone's blog? why do i expect other people to pay attention to me, if i don't do the same thing myself?" so i went on a search for interesting blogs. clicked the "next blog" button up there for almost 20 times before something in english popped up. it was a religious guy talking about a campsite somewhere in the edge of a forest. had pictures of little kids and puppies there. it scared me, to say the least. am i that boring too? to i show myself as a pervert or a freak of sorts? "hi! my name is bob! i'm from kentucky. i like chicken nuggets, kids and cute lil' puppies"... "what now?"
still shocked by the encounter i surfed on to find something interesting in this god forsaken website. after 13 blogs with "finito seniorita gonzales tenguito eduaro el paso neminio ferlinda ela fiesta sombrero tequila cahones bla bla bla" in its contents i found a blog of a girl who was interested in photography. had many pictures. some of them good. most sucked. she was probably studying it somewhere but i didn't read much cuz i got bored right away (come to think about it, not sure if she was a girl?! ... whatever). confused and disoriented, i returned to my "still quite fresh sweet blog" which i can proudly call home. it feels cosy and secure. don't you think?
so, there i was, feeling complimented and being stripped from privacy at the same time, thinking "why don't i ever read anyone's blog? why do i expect other people to pay attention to me, if i don't do the same thing myself?" so i went on a search for interesting blogs. clicked the "next blog" button up there for almost 20 times before something in english popped up. it was a religious guy talking about a campsite somewhere in the edge of a forest. had pictures of little kids and puppies there. it scared me, to say the least. am i that boring too? to i show myself as a pervert or a freak of sorts? "hi! my name is bob! i'm from kentucky. i like chicken nuggets, kids and cute lil' puppies"... "what now?"
still shocked by the encounter i surfed on to find something interesting in this god forsaken website. after 13 blogs with "finito seniorita gonzales tenguito eduaro el paso neminio ferlinda ela fiesta sombrero tequila cahones bla bla bla" in its contents i found a blog of a girl who was interested in photography. had many pictures. some of them good. most sucked. she was probably studying it somewhere but i didn't read much cuz i got bored right away (come to think about it, not sure if she was a girl?! ... whatever). confused and disoriented, i returned to my "still quite fresh sweet blog" which i can proudly call home. it feels cosy and secure. don't you think?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Itchy head keeps me from eating my ice-cream
gal got herself an apartment! now she can move out from the house she lives in. i liked that old place for the privacy. no one is ever around to stop us from doing anything. but there was a hygiene problem though. no shower i could use. made me feel a little uncomfortable. i need to wash myself frequently. she had a shower downstairs, but only she could use that one cuz it was guarded by the evilest of all ladies - sister of grandpa of girlfriend. just kidding. don't think she was that bad. how would i know, seen her only once.
anyways, the upcoming plan was to fit my dearest lovely prettyness and her sister with her boyfriend into a flat. and it seems that it will happen in the nearest future. now i have even a cooler place to stay at when i visit the capital. weird thing is that i'm actually excited about these current events. maybe that's because my own room is just around the corner. may take some weeks more, but still soon enough i will have a territory of my own. god bless basic instincts!
sad thing is, that i spoke to my mentor. she helps me with the comic i'm currently working on. i need to finish it this week if i wish to finish the school. pressure is on! for more reasons than one. it was a big hit for me when she said i can't do it my way. so i have to pick up the pace. guys around me thought it would be a good idea to publish the comic somewhere online. and that after the first episode i would have to go on with producing more pages. we will see how things turn out. if i don't get a mark 5, then i will not publish it. ever!
just realized - i can blab for forever. i can go on non stop until sun rises again. even when i have nothing to say i still manage to write myself to sleep. lack of energy is the only barrier. the bed already looks tempting as it is. with every word i type, the bed looks cosier. soon i will give up and close the pc, but not yet.
had a small discussion about the word trampoline today. hack the word in peaces and you get tramp - o - line. basically meaning tramp of a or the line. what kind of line? a line of men? a line of both genders? or a line of ice-cram? money? pimps? car keys? gasoline? commies? light switches? you name it! tramp-o-line can handle all of them! you can pump-jump-hump-bump or even occasionally pimp it as you please! dial five-five-five-0-800-TRAMP to get yours now. (merchandise not returnable. results may vary)
anyways, the upcoming plan was to fit my dearest lovely prettyness and her sister with her boyfriend into a flat. and it seems that it will happen in the nearest future. now i have even a cooler place to stay at when i visit the capital. weird thing is that i'm actually excited about these current events. maybe that's because my own room is just around the corner. may take some weeks more, but still soon enough i will have a territory of my own. god bless basic instincts!
sad thing is, that i spoke to my mentor. she helps me with the comic i'm currently working on. i need to finish it this week if i wish to finish the school. pressure is on! for more reasons than one. it was a big hit for me when she said i can't do it my way. so i have to pick up the pace. guys around me thought it would be a good idea to publish the comic somewhere online. and that after the first episode i would have to go on with producing more pages. we will see how things turn out. if i don't get a mark 5, then i will not publish it. ever!
just realized - i can blab for forever. i can go on non stop until sun rises again. even when i have nothing to say i still manage to write myself to sleep. lack of energy is the only barrier. the bed already looks tempting as it is. with every word i type, the bed looks cosier. soon i will give up and close the pc, but not yet.
had a small discussion about the word trampoline today. hack the word in peaces and you get tramp - o - line. basically meaning tramp of a or the line. what kind of line? a line of men? a line of both genders? or a line of ice-cram? money? pimps? car keys? gasoline? commies? light switches? you name it! tramp-o-line can handle all of them! you can pump-jump-hump-bump or even occasionally pimp it as you please! dial five-five-five-0-800-TRAMP to get yours now. (merchandise not returnable. results may vary)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Action Reaction
To the dearest of dears in the homeliest of home worlds on the cosyest of all planets seas away from me. To the one and only girl who has ever made me feel like I do right now. This is to You my darling.
I had the intention of writing this post already yesterday after I had finished my posting. Quite frankly, I forgot. Sorry. Now it is several times harder to type about this subject for reasons You know best.
I want to start by saying it is hard for me to talk about intimate and really personal things online. That is why I don't discuss us so much in my blog. I don't think I should share this special connection I feel between us with everyone who might read this blog. Fortunately I don't think there are many. But still, I feel the moments we share should be remembered by us only and the deepest of feelings I can show and/or tell you in person. Besides, You know I keep this online diary for You. These long stories are basically for your eyes to read. I don't care so much about the others (if there are any). You know what we did together and because I don't talk much about emotions or anything on this blog, plus I already have told You about my feelings, it kinda looses the point of typing about it. There is also some personal reasons why I don't say what exactly goes on between us. I have little privacy at is. It's a rare moment to be alone. I can't go anywhere to escape this hard grip of population. That's why I enjoyed the trip to Tallinn. We were together and we were hardly interrupted. I love that feeling. I need more alone time with You, honey. And more time with You at parties. Heck, I just need to be with You, alone or otherwise.
You said I haven't called You during these recent days. I apologize about that. Don't think for a second that You slipped my mind. No, that's not why I didn't call you. I didn't want to disturb You when You were working! It might sound stupid, but it's the truth. And I didn't know when you got off work(I forget the time) so before I could reach You, You already called me.
And another thing. There has been no such incident which could make me think less of You. Please don't overreact. From now on, I promise to call even when I disturb Your work, even when I feel like shite and when my phone bills get me in trouble. I'll even call you during the night just to say "I love You!".
Finishing touches come from the very heart. I'm really sorry, that I am like I am. Right now I'm busy with the stupid comic book. I can feel it taking the best of me, but hang on. If it looks like I'm trying to suck up to You, then know this: it is the truth. I'm not embarrassed to say that I don't want to look bad in Your eyes. It's the worst that could happen. Forgive me? Soon You will get the attention You have earned with being who You are, for becoming my significant other.
I had the intention of writing this post already yesterday after I had finished my posting. Quite frankly, I forgot. Sorry. Now it is several times harder to type about this subject for reasons You know best.
I want to start by saying it is hard for me to talk about intimate and really personal things online. That is why I don't discuss us so much in my blog. I don't think I should share this special connection I feel between us with everyone who might read this blog. Fortunately I don't think there are many. But still, I feel the moments we share should be remembered by us only and the deepest of feelings I can show and/or tell you in person. Besides, You know I keep this online diary for You. These long stories are basically for your eyes to read. I don't care so much about the others (if there are any). You know what we did together and because I don't talk much about emotions or anything on this blog, plus I already have told You about my feelings, it kinda looses the point of typing about it. There is also some personal reasons why I don't say what exactly goes on between us. I have little privacy at is. It's a rare moment to be alone. I can't go anywhere to escape this hard grip of population. That's why I enjoyed the trip to Tallinn. We were together and we were hardly interrupted. I love that feeling. I need more alone time with You, honey. And more time with You at parties. Heck, I just need to be with You, alone or otherwise.
You said I haven't called You during these recent days. I apologize about that. Don't think for a second that You slipped my mind. No, that's not why I didn't call you. I didn't want to disturb You when You were working! It might sound stupid, but it's the truth. And I didn't know when you got off work(I forget the time) so before I could reach You, You already called me.
And another thing. There has been no such incident which could make me think less of You. Please don't overreact. From now on, I promise to call even when I disturb Your work, even when I feel like shite and when my phone bills get me in trouble. I'll even call you during the night just to say "I love You!".
Finishing touches come from the very heart. I'm really sorry, that I am like I am. Right now I'm busy with the stupid comic book. I can feel it taking the best of me, but hang on. If it looks like I'm trying to suck up to You, then know this: it is the truth. I'm not embarrassed to say that I don't want to look bad in Your eyes. It's the worst that could happen. Forgive me? Soon You will get the attention You have earned with being who You are, for becoming my significant other.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Food?
*yawn*
sitting in front of my computer and following orders from my favorite young lady. 'asked me to write something in my blog, she did. and what do i do? yeah, that's right. follow orders. it's nice to follow someone's lead for a change. you should try it.
well now, where do i start? today seems good enough. woke up around 9 in the morning. that was the plan at least. so half an hour later i found myself finally away from my bed. a few steps away, but still - away. coach and tv followed that next to breakfast until 10 am. computer games till 11 and then i was off. went shopping. haven't done that in a while. i actually planned to do some homework but time slipped by so fast. next up: our trip to a place called roomassaare. it's a port of sorts. harbor. thought we could go sailing for a while. been away from the sea for a while now. last year, sumer, august. yeah, it was the last time i went sailing. so there we were: me, crefy, kaupo, axel, liisi, eda. packed with beer a other goods eager to set sail and ride the restless sea. but unfortunately it was too windy. so we just sat there, in the yacht, in the harbor, in roomassaare and drank some beer and had a blast. it was fun!
sunday was filled with grass cutting. and some music. henri, the guy who plays guitar in my band got himself a new peace of equipment. a pretty one at that. useful little toy. boss digital delay pedal. messed around on that for a while. it was a really weird situation. we had a band practice. kaupo said that he can't play drums because he has something to do. well, he was at henri's place with us, watching tv -.- . dude? what the hell? i didn't get too irritated about that. just played some guitar with henri and then left. we could just have had a normal practice that day, but nooo tc is soooo important. after that we had a family dinner. parents invited my bro and his girl over and stuff. we had fun. then crefy called. he had just gotten his hands on a new car. earlier he had driven with his mom's opel, but now, he got this japanese car from his dad. a quite fancy car. ran into some friends downtown and a new guy from sweden. thomas was the name. funny guy with a crocodile dundee type hat and a black leather coat. one thing made our trip specially funny. when we saw a cat or any other type of animal crossing the street or just standing next to the road the thomas guy went, "Food?" . he did it funnier :P
oh yeah! we preformed on stage. on the 6th of june. we had fun but the thing is, there was only like 20 people there to see us and the theater group that preformed before us. the sound was great! what a shame to let that kind on sound go to waste, but we can't force people to come to our concerts. it seems we suck. everyone despises us.
i was in tallinn for almost a week. met my girlfriends mom. she is weird, that's what makes her cool. besides getting together with my cousin joss, having a barbecue and a few drawings i made, there is nothing i can talk about in my blog. let's just say i had a few great days off. it was nice to relax for a change.
sitting in front of my computer and following orders from my favorite young lady. 'asked me to write something in my blog, she did. and what do i do? yeah, that's right. follow orders. it's nice to follow someone's lead for a change. you should try it.
well now, where do i start? today seems good enough. woke up around 9 in the morning. that was the plan at least. so half an hour later i found myself finally away from my bed. a few steps away, but still - away. coach and tv followed that next to breakfast until 10 am. computer games till 11 and then i was off. went shopping. haven't done that in a while. i actually planned to do some homework but time slipped by so fast. next up: our trip to a place called roomassaare. it's a port of sorts. harbor. thought we could go sailing for a while. been away from the sea for a while now. last year, sumer, august. yeah, it was the last time i went sailing. so there we were: me, crefy, kaupo, axel, liisi, eda. packed with beer a other goods eager to set sail and ride the restless sea. but unfortunately it was too windy. so we just sat there, in the yacht, in the harbor, in roomassaare and drank some beer and had a blast. it was fun!
sunday was filled with grass cutting. and some music. henri, the guy who plays guitar in my band got himself a new peace of equipment. a pretty one at that. useful little toy. boss digital delay pedal. messed around on that for a while. it was a really weird situation. we had a band practice. kaupo said that he can't play drums because he has something to do. well, he was at henri's place with us, watching tv -.- . dude? what the hell? i didn't get too irritated about that. just played some guitar with henri and then left. we could just have had a normal practice that day, but nooo tc is soooo important. after that we had a family dinner. parents invited my bro and his girl over and stuff. we had fun. then crefy called. he had just gotten his hands on a new car. earlier he had driven with his mom's opel, but now, he got this japanese car from his dad. a quite fancy car. ran into some friends downtown and a new guy from sweden. thomas was the name. funny guy with a crocodile dundee type hat and a black leather coat. one thing made our trip specially funny. when we saw a cat or any other type of animal crossing the street or just standing next to the road the thomas guy went, "Food?" . he did it funnier :P
oh yeah! we preformed on stage. on the 6th of june. we had fun but the thing is, there was only like 20 people there to see us and the theater group that preformed before us. the sound was great! what a shame to let that kind on sound go to waste, but we can't force people to come to our concerts. it seems we suck. everyone despises us.
i was in tallinn for almost a week. met my girlfriends mom. she is weird, that's what makes her cool. besides getting together with my cousin joss, having a barbecue and a few drawings i made, there is nothing i can talk about in my blog. let's just say i had a few great days off. it was nice to relax for a change.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Good stuff
today i start my posting with three words that would explain a lot to everyone that has been around me or in contact with me during these past 2 or 3 weeks. I AM STRESSED! that said, there isn't much to add actually. i just need to take some time off.
ok, i have to say that the reception i went to, the one where school showed it's gratitude towards students who have done something from witch school could benefit in any kind of way. the one where your name is called, you stand up leaving a wet butt-print on the chair, shake hands with headmaster and guess what? i got meself a mug! awesome! now i can drink coffee or any other kind of liquid what can keep me entertained during those warm long "pleasant" nights of torment!! -.- those bastards! at least i got a free meal after that. and a peace of paper saying i had interesting hobbies. funny. anyways, just have to say this, "Told you so!"
Yep, that about covers it...
ok, i have to say that the reception i went to, the one where school showed it's gratitude towards students who have done something from witch school could benefit in any kind of way. the one where your name is called, you stand up leaving a wet butt-print on the chair, shake hands with headmaster and guess what? i got meself a mug! awesome! now i can drink coffee or any other kind of liquid what can keep me entertained during those warm long "pleasant" nights of torment!! -.- those bastards! at least i got a free meal after that. and a peace of paper saying i had interesting hobbies. funny. anyways, just have to say this, "Told you so!"
Yep, that about covers it...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
for saving the world, we give you this mug
Now, in between safe walls of my humble home, i am yet again ready to talk about the most important think there is on this whole wide world. a subject important to everyone on our graceful planet of unforgiving climate, a temple for smart and dumb. so hear me now as i continue talking about.. me! what did you think? the pope? i was the pope once. there was a youth exchange program in italy. thought it would be funny to dress up as a pope for a day. there are even video clips of me dancing in this weird robe-like thing holding a bamboo stick in my hand and wearing a white high hat. can you believe it? it was fun.
So, what have i done in these past days? what feelings have been haunting me? what kind of thoughts keep popping up again and again? i really can't say. my mood has been quite weird thanks for many things. like for instance - i have to help my dad build a house. it will be our home one day! we basically sold our flat already, so we have to be quick about it. i'm tired most of the time. second thing - somehow i have manage to not do all my homework nor the things i had to do during lessons. how?! i need to pull myself together and finish my stuff before it's too late! third shite - i don't know how or why, but i have had some pretty weird ..obligations lately. meet the queen, talk to strangers about our school, represent the workshop, be the mascot during the moat rally event, put up exhibitions for people i don't know and make invitations and posters for them etc. i didn't ask for these things! (i actually lie a little saying that, but it has been more than i bargained for). forth unpleasant thing - now when my grades have been low as hell, much of my stuff is unfinished or just plain "undone", graduation is close and the diploma work (peace of art) is a mess - the headmaster wants me to be at this ..this .. this event during a hot summer day that takes place indoors and you have to be in a (or an, i'm not quite sure. for university it is "a" so.. correct me) uniform, a place where some stupid kids sing and an old fart makes a speech saying something that no one gives a rat's ass about, occasion during witch you are called from your (almost melting) hot seat witch is soaked with sweat from your ass that forms a nice butt-print and you are given a mug! they call it "The Day of Gratitude". how ironic. all this because the headmaster wants to shake my hand for being a fine lad during this year. well, no thanks! i don't need your stupid mug or a calendar that has a school logo on it. if i wanted one so much, i would make it myself. but i do feel honored cuz he himself personally made sure i get my stuff done before 27th of may. plus i do feel they ow me some. i think i get my stuff straight in time.
fifth... i can go on forever, but this is turning into wining. suddenly i feel how i have pissed myself off with this sad-sad story. argh. maybe some other time. right now, i'll just go to bed. i need to sleep. tomorrow i have band practice. sigh. well, see ya then.
So, what have i done in these past days? what feelings have been haunting me? what kind of thoughts keep popping up again and again? i really can't say. my mood has been quite weird thanks for many things. like for instance - i have to help my dad build a house. it will be our home one day! we basically sold our flat already, so we have to be quick about it. i'm tired most of the time. second thing - somehow i have manage to not do all my homework nor the things i had to do during lessons. how?! i need to pull myself together and finish my stuff before it's too late! third shite - i don't know how or why, but i have had some pretty weird ..obligations lately. meet the queen, talk to strangers about our school, represent the workshop, be the mascot during the moat rally event, put up exhibitions for people i don't know and make invitations and posters for them etc. i didn't ask for these things! (i actually lie a little saying that, but it has been more than i bargained for). forth unpleasant thing - now when my grades have been low as hell, much of my stuff is unfinished or just plain "undone", graduation is close and the diploma work (peace of art) is a mess - the headmaster wants me to be at this ..this .. this event during a hot summer day that takes place indoors and you have to be in a (or an, i'm not quite sure. for university it is "a" so.. correct me) uniform, a place where some stupid kids sing and an old fart makes a speech saying something that no one gives a rat's ass about, occasion during witch you are called from your (almost melting) hot seat witch is soaked with sweat from your ass that forms a nice butt-print and you are given a mug! they call it "The Day of Gratitude". how ironic. all this because the headmaster wants to shake my hand for being a fine lad during this year. well, no thanks! i don't need your stupid mug or a calendar that has a school logo on it. if i wanted one so much, i would make it myself. but i do feel honored cuz he himself personally made sure i get my stuff done before 27th of may. plus i do feel they ow me some. i think i get my stuff straight in time.
fifth... i can go on forever, but this is turning into wining. suddenly i feel how i have pissed myself off with this sad-sad story. argh. maybe some other time. right now, i'll just go to bed. i need to sleep. tomorrow i have band practice. sigh. well, see ya then.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The Queen does not play poker with random slackers from the street
The Queen of Holland was awesome! We shook hands and talked about stuff. Mostly I just talked about our workshop at the school. I was not the only guide. There was my fried Madis, too. We made smalltalk about this and that and the Majesty was quite interested about art n stuff. Sad thing was, that we only had about 10 to 15 minutes. So because the schedule was tight as hell, we had to be quick if we wanted to say all that we were supposed to say. Also, there was this incident with a friend who accidentally found a sign saying "Free weed" (like free willy) and we made some pictures of her holding the sign in front of a crowd and the Dutch press. It was hilarious! The other great thing about the Royal visit was the fact that I made it to the National Television of Holland! My class teacher Maila said that the clip is uploaded to some kind of a web-site. Have not found it yet.
But the Queen has not been the most important thing in my life. There have been a lot of things going on in my so called life. For starters, my dad has kept me really busy. We are building our house together. It is the most rewarding things ever. It is really good to think that one day in the future I will have a house to live in instead of a stupid small apartment.
My bro moved out of the apartment, so now there are 4 people living in the flat. Plus a cat. Who always gets wiggled and tortured my favorite young lady. In a strange way, it seems that my cat enjoys that.
She visited me again! Felt good, really good. My girl is not your typical chick. This babe can work! Hell, she even helped us on the construction site. She is good! Although she was at my place for 5 days or so, it was not enough. I need to spend more time with her.
PS! Kaupo is teh uberalles 1337 (it seems my posting was interrupted by Kaupo)
But the Queen has not been the most important thing in my life. There have been a lot of things going on in my so called life. For starters, my dad has kept me really busy. We are building our house together. It is the most rewarding things ever. It is really good to think that one day in the future I will have a house to live in instead of a stupid small apartment.
My bro moved out of the apartment, so now there are 4 people living in the flat. Plus a cat. Who always gets wiggled and tortured my favorite young lady. In a strange way, it seems that my cat enjoys that.
She visited me again! Felt good, really good. My girl is not your typical chick. This babe can work! Hell, she even helped us on the construction site. She is good! Although she was at my place for 5 days or so, it was not enough. I need to spend more time with her.
PS! Kaupo is teh uberalles 1337 (it seems my posting was interrupted by Kaupo)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Notepad works finely
during these last few days, there has been nothing to mention. maybe if i talked about monday?! naah! it was ok, but not that fun. oh yeah! www.hot.ee/killertissue . this is the homepage i made for school and my band. it's primitive, cuz i took the liberty of making it in notepad. POWA!
and... the queen is coming. like.. on friday! on the 16th of May. i have to greet her. sick, why me? after that event, hopefully i'll have more spare time. i have to work on my comic thing. i'm tired, always tired and hungry. no, not hungry, i just ate, but i am quite sleepy. and my eyes hurt! wine wine wine.. nothing more to add, but kisses to you my dear ;)
and... the queen is coming. like.. on friday! on the 16th of May. i have to greet her. sick, why me? after that event, hopefully i'll have more spare time. i have to work on my comic thing. i'm tired, always tired and hungry. no, not hungry, i just ate, but i am quite sleepy. and my eyes hurt! wine wine wine.. nothing more to add, but kisses to you my dear ;)
Fun fun, puke, fun fun, puke, fun fun, puke ..
Remember i said there was a party coming in my last post?!
If you must know, then the party went well. My hangover was majestic! Took me 2 days to recuperate. About that day/night, I actually went to a barbecue at a friend's place. He is Axel. Anyway, the party went well, we drank beer, vodka, a little wine and other stuff. We played basketball and talked and made jokes - the whole damn deal! We almost had everyone (talking about the band now) there, but the singer - Kristel was "babysitting". Well, we had a car and a sober driver. Guess what we did?! Next thing i know I'm using capital letters :S`?!?! Why?! ok, back to the story: so there we were, behind her door and ringing the bell. a little frightened boy appears and tells us Kristel is not home. we were like WTF?! called her again. she was still claiming that she is babysitting her young bro. when we told her that we were drunk and at her door she freaked! took her like 5 minutes to get home from her boyfriends house if i'm not mistaking. during this time Kaupo and Henri managed to get into the trunk of our car. Kristel came all irritated and stuff but still disappointed to see that Henri and Kaupo had "left" :D . So she called Kaupo. They started talking and we could hear Kaupo speaking in the trunk, Kristel couldn't. we laughed our asses off! it was so funny! finally the guys came out and Kristel felt stupid in more ways than one. we went back to the party together. more stuff happened, but they are going to take too long to explain + you would not understand the situations anyway, so i'll skip a little.
Suddenly at the party, Cref says something like, "Egle (a girl) is going to be here in 3 minutes. let's move out. there is a party somewhere outside of town.." -.- "what?" i said, and still went into the car :S . it was a long way, we stopped at a gas station, broke a bottle of vodka and did some cool stuff... next thing i know, we have pulled to the side of the road! why?! i don't know. :D seems like the tire is broken. yep, it's broken alright. so... what now? do we fix it?... hmm.. what? it was hilarious that they didn't know what to do, so they started doing something, i just laughed. they did it all wrong! i just walked into the darkness and talked on my phone a bit. when i came back, there was a second car there, filled with guys (not like our car) who knew what to do. soon we were off again. when we made it to the party, i was seriously NOT SOBER! there were many people who i knew and more of those who i didn't. glad i didn't get into any fights. hill-billies usually are famous for short temper. i had fun at that party, but from the crowd i hanged around with, i was the first to pass out. what a shame!
the morning was a story on it's own. i woke up next to Cref. nice one. felt ... not sober? and not drunk either. something in between that and tired. it seems that i slept a good 4 hours that morning. i didn't get to go to the bathroom, nor did i get any water before i was off with a bunch on girls and 4 guys to visit the local shop! it was before 10 am! people should still be sleeping, specially when they have drank the day before! it's fucking saturday! but no! we are in the middle of nowhere, still drunk, tired, under-slept, dehydrated, with filled bladders and hungry moving under a hot morning sun when there is no wind at 10 pm for a mile just to get to shop where there is nothing to buy and even if there was, i didn't have any money!!! kinda pissed me off for a moment.. and then we came back. at least i was given some cold water and i managed to find a place to lay my bladder at.
at first the plan was to go home with a car before 12 am. we knew the battery was dead so we had to push it. we tried that for like, 30 minutes?! it was as dead as a battery could possibly be! ice cold. so we messed around a little bit until a friend of a friend came. he was a hunter. and a pretty stereotypical at that! imagine: an old messed up red pickup ford, a skinny man with mustache that circled his chin, but the chin itself is clean, his skin was dirty and tanned like he has been standing face toward the sun since 1999, wearing blue dirty overalls and a military cap/hat. he looked like a murderer. i kept my distance. at least he helped. took the battery home with him to recharge. we waited for an hour. in witch we had a wonderful conversation. kinda like the one you saw in "The Breakfast Club". it was fun. Cref puked a lot. he felt worse than me.
when the battery came back, we jammed 7 people in to the damn omega. and Crefy had to drive :D. he came into the car. put his hands on the wheel. just stood there for a second or two and then ran out. aww, everyone, look at that! Crefy is puking! poor guy. wiped his mouth on the way to the car and off we were! korn and ramstein blasted our ears most of the way home and we had fun!
but it was too late. my dad had already gone to the building site. he needed my help! i promised to be home by then. i was only 3 and a half hours too late. i messed up and i didn't even say i was sorry. what i jerk i am.
If you must know, then the party went well. My hangover was majestic! Took me 2 days to recuperate. About that day/night, I actually went to a barbecue at a friend's place. He is Axel. Anyway, the party went well, we drank beer, vodka, a little wine and other stuff. We played basketball and talked and made jokes - the whole damn deal! We almost had everyone (talking about the band now) there, but the singer - Kristel was "babysitting". Well, we had a car and a sober driver. Guess what we did?! Next thing i know I'm using capital letters :S`?!?! Why?! ok, back to the story: so there we were, behind her door and ringing the bell. a little frightened boy appears and tells us Kristel is not home. we were like WTF?! called her again. she was still claiming that she is babysitting her young bro. when we told her that we were drunk and at her door she freaked! took her like 5 minutes to get home from her boyfriends house if i'm not mistaking. during this time Kaupo and Henri managed to get into the trunk of our car. Kristel came all irritated and stuff but still disappointed to see that Henri and Kaupo had "left" :D . So she called Kaupo. They started talking and we could hear Kaupo speaking in the trunk, Kristel couldn't. we laughed our asses off! it was so funny! finally the guys came out and Kristel felt stupid in more ways than one. we went back to the party together. more stuff happened, but they are going to take too long to explain + you would not understand the situations anyway, so i'll skip a little.
Suddenly at the party, Cref says something like, "Egle (a girl) is going to be here in 3 minutes. let's move out. there is a party somewhere outside of town.." -.- "what?" i said, and still went into the car :S . it was a long way, we stopped at a gas station, broke a bottle of vodka and did some cool stuff... next thing i know, we have pulled to the side of the road! why?! i don't know. :D seems like the tire is broken. yep, it's broken alright. so... what now? do we fix it?... hmm.. what? it was hilarious that they didn't know what to do, so they started doing something, i just laughed. they did it all wrong! i just walked into the darkness and talked on my phone a bit. when i came back, there was a second car there, filled with guys (not like our car) who knew what to do. soon we were off again. when we made it to the party, i was seriously NOT SOBER! there were many people who i knew and more of those who i didn't. glad i didn't get into any fights. hill-billies usually are famous for short temper. i had fun at that party, but from the crowd i hanged around with, i was the first to pass out. what a shame!
the morning was a story on it's own. i woke up next to Cref. nice one. felt ... not sober? and not drunk either. something in between that and tired. it seems that i slept a good 4 hours that morning. i didn't get to go to the bathroom, nor did i get any water before i was off with a bunch on girls and 4 guys to visit the local shop! it was before 10 am! people should still be sleeping, specially when they have drank the day before! it's fucking saturday! but no! we are in the middle of nowhere, still drunk, tired, under-slept, dehydrated, with filled bladders and hungry moving under a hot morning sun when there is no wind at 10 pm for a mile just to get to shop where there is nothing to buy and even if there was, i didn't have any money!!! kinda pissed me off for a moment.. and then we came back. at least i was given some cold water and i managed to find a place to lay my bladder at.
at first the plan was to go home with a car before 12 am. we knew the battery was dead so we had to push it. we tried that for like, 30 minutes?! it was as dead as a battery could possibly be! ice cold. so we messed around a little bit until a friend of a friend came. he was a hunter. and a pretty stereotypical at that! imagine: an old messed up red pickup ford, a skinny man with mustache that circled his chin, but the chin itself is clean, his skin was dirty and tanned like he has been standing face toward the sun since 1999, wearing blue dirty overalls and a military cap/hat. he looked like a murderer. i kept my distance. at least he helped. took the battery home with him to recharge. we waited for an hour. in witch we had a wonderful conversation. kinda like the one you saw in "The Breakfast Club". it was fun. Cref puked a lot. he felt worse than me.
when the battery came back, we jammed 7 people in to the damn omega. and Crefy had to drive :D. he came into the car. put his hands on the wheel. just stood there for a second or two and then ran out. aww, everyone, look at that! Crefy is puking! poor guy. wiped his mouth on the way to the car and off we were! korn and ramstein blasted our ears most of the way home and we had fun!
but it was too late. my dad had already gone to the building site. he needed my help! i promised to be home by then. i was only 3 and a half hours too late. i messed up and i didn't even say i was sorry. what i jerk i am.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Vacation needed!
"Look who found time for blogging! where have you been, mister?!"
well, i'll tell where i've been!
for starters, i have been REALLY busy! you would not believe what i've been doing?! so, i wont even start discussing it... :D
ok, ok. if You are actually reading this, then i think you have deserved a sneak peak into my life.
i can't remember, what was my last post about?! i'll start with my girlfriend surprising me with her coming one day early. man was it a surprise! i was shocked to be exact. she hoped i was home, but instead i was just starting to sit down and drink in the other edge of the freaking town. so i felt a little bad cuz she had been awake for over 48 hours and now i was dragging her to a party (we could have just gone home, i don't remember why we didn't do that in the first place). 48 hours and still counting. we met and chilled a little, then left for home and...
Me and my band. we had to preform on stage at a youth music festival. a fancy name for a simple event. we won! yeah, it was a competition. we and few others got a chance to preform during a big ass event. one of the biggest in this region if not THE biggest. But it's not due till august so we still have time to practice. funny thing about that event was that i didn't care that we won. really, it still hasn't hit me. i was happy cuz i was there with my darling.
What day was it now?! Saturday?! yeah, Saturday. I loved that day. i had a picnic with Mrs. important-4-me. it turned out to be a sunbathing session in a public place, but that's cool. no, no, it was quite warm actually ;P ! after that we had a barbecue at the drummer's place. Kaupo he be named :D. i had too much ribs. stuffed! too many! during that party, i was basically the only one NOT drinking. i have problems with alcohol i have noticed. so now, when i have a girl who can keep an eye on me and who also works as a gigantic motivator, it's easier to just say NO! i'm proud.
My gal was here for a week. Yeah that's right, seven days! i loved that, but unfortunately there was something wrong with me. think there still is. i'm tired, i need a vacation. a big one. i want to be alone and with my girl at the same time. i wish everyone except her to disappear from the planet for a week or a month or for even longer. i want to be in the countryside, in the woods, by the fields, in the nature. it's hard, but i will make it.
i still have many things to work on, school stuff i mean. much unfinished business. right now i'm drawing crefy. it's fun. but i still have a long way to go if i want to finish with my classmates.
beside everything i have to do and want to do, i have promised my dad i would help him build a house for our family if he supported my actions as an artist and/or a musician. i have kept my end of the bargain and he has also done that. but every now or then i wish i hadn't made that promise. it's really hard to keep up with everything around me as it is, and now with summer closing in i have to help him with the construction. tiring is what it is.
this has been one of the few pauses i have had during the last days and i have no idea when i'll have a rest after this one. there should be a party today, but i don't know if i'll make it. i need to relax! usually, i guess you already know what i do with my spare time... yes, i call her. or use a PC to communicate in a more modern way :D (actually it's just cheaper, i don't like that solution very much. face to face communication is my choice of drug).
Well, see ya then. Hope i don't collapse.
well, i'll tell where i've been!
for starters, i have been REALLY busy! you would not believe what i've been doing?! so, i wont even start discussing it... :D
ok, ok. if You are actually reading this, then i think you have deserved a sneak peak into my life.
i can't remember, what was my last post about?! i'll start with my girlfriend surprising me with her coming one day early. man was it a surprise! i was shocked to be exact. she hoped i was home, but instead i was just starting to sit down and drink in the other edge of the freaking town. so i felt a little bad cuz she had been awake for over 48 hours and now i was dragging her to a party (we could have just gone home, i don't remember why we didn't do that in the first place). 48 hours and still counting. we met and chilled a little, then left for home and...
Me and my band. we had to preform on stage at a youth music festival. a fancy name for a simple event. we won! yeah, it was a competition. we and few others got a chance to preform during a big ass event. one of the biggest in this region if not THE biggest. But it's not due till august so we still have time to practice. funny thing about that event was that i didn't care that we won. really, it still hasn't hit me. i was happy cuz i was there with my darling.
What day was it now?! Saturday?! yeah, Saturday. I loved that day. i had a picnic with Mrs. important-4-me. it turned out to be a sunbathing session in a public place, but that's cool. no, no, it was quite warm actually ;P ! after that we had a barbecue at the drummer's place. Kaupo he be named :D. i had too much ribs. stuffed! too many! during that party, i was basically the only one NOT drinking. i have problems with alcohol i have noticed. so now, when i have a girl who can keep an eye on me and who also works as a gigantic motivator, it's easier to just say NO! i'm proud.
My gal was here for a week. Yeah that's right, seven days! i loved that, but unfortunately there was something wrong with me. think there still is. i'm tired, i need a vacation. a big one. i want to be alone and with my girl at the same time. i wish everyone except her to disappear from the planet for a week or a month or for even longer. i want to be in the countryside, in the woods, by the fields, in the nature. it's hard, but i will make it.
i still have many things to work on, school stuff i mean. much unfinished business. right now i'm drawing crefy. it's fun. but i still have a long way to go if i want to finish with my classmates.
beside everything i have to do and want to do, i have promised my dad i would help him build a house for our family if he supported my actions as an artist and/or a musician. i have kept my end of the bargain and he has also done that. but every now or then i wish i hadn't made that promise. it's really hard to keep up with everything around me as it is, and now with summer closing in i have to help him with the construction. tiring is what it is.
this has been one of the few pauses i have had during the last days and i have no idea when i'll have a rest after this one. there should be a party today, but i don't know if i'll make it. i need to relax! usually, i guess you already know what i do with my spare time... yes, i call her. or use a PC to communicate in a more modern way :D (actually it's just cheaper, i don't like that solution very much. face to face communication is my choice of drug).
Well, see ya then. Hope i don't collapse.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
weekend
28 profile views. Yei! Should i be happy? i mean, that isn't exactly a lot but still. i have not told most friends about this blog for more than one reason. one of them is the fact that i just may criticize them. but mostly because, they already know what has happened to me. so they do not have to read about it online. but still somehow i feel like i don't get enough views. i want more people to check out my blog! i am not in any way afraid to say it out loud! yeah! i want to torture more people with my boring life!
i had a couple of dry days. friday and saturday to be exact. thrilling weekend this has been! :D mostly i spent my time on sleeping.
weird dream i had today. about me and some friends of mine being on a cruise ship. we had to kill someone important for no reason and then escape from the ship. we had to dress up in diving suits and jump down from let's say... from the 5th floor? but in the end we escaped in a weird wooden ship and swam toward the sun so no one could see if our heads were out from the water. unfortunately i can't recall any details, but more or less that's how it went down.
BUT! today i drank! i'm honest here! i drank a little vodka and some wine. and right now, i'm tipsy. feeling is great!
i had a couple of dry days. friday and saturday to be exact. thrilling weekend this has been! :D mostly i spent my time on sleeping.
weird dream i had today. about me and some friends of mine being on a cruise ship. we had to kill someone important for no reason and then escape from the ship. we had to dress up in diving suits and jump down from let's say... from the 5th floor? but in the end we escaped in a weird wooden ship and swam toward the sun so no one could see if our heads were out from the water. unfortunately i can't recall any details, but more or less that's how it went down.
BUT! today i drank! i'm honest here! i drank a little vodka and some wine. and right now, i'm tipsy. feeling is great!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Saluut emakeelele
Mul on homme lõpukirjandi kirjutamine. Ei tea mis sellest saab. Kas läheb õnneks ja saan piisavalt punkte, et endale mitte endale mingit jama kaela tõmmata või läheb hoopis nii, et elu lõpuni on CV lisas häbiplekk 19 punkti näol. Tunne on nagu ei muretseks ma piisavalt selle suhteliselt tähtsa asja pärast. Eksam on tulemas ju ikkagi. See peaks mind maa peale tooma! Sittagi. Olen mina edasi. Sama loll ja laisk nagu alati. Mõtted ringi uitamas ja loll irve kogu aeg näos. Miks muretseda? Vähemalt ma proovin seda teha! Ma vähemalt proovin midagi saavutada, aga kahjuks väga häid tulemusi oodata küll ei ole. Need kes veel ei tea - ma ei loe raamatuid. See on üks väheseid faktoreid (aga see eest väga mõjuvõimas) mis seisab minu ja hea kirjandi punktiskoori vahel. Loodan küll ühte ja teist saavutada, aga olen piisavalt kahe jalaga maa peal, et mõista olukorra tõsidust. Kui ma ei ole kolme viimase aasta jooksul ühtegi raamatud läbi lugenud (tegu pole faktiga, aga ma arvan, et umbes nii peaks olema), ma pole tegelenud emakeelega umbes 4 kuud, sõpradega suhtlen poole ajast inglisekeeles ja ma käin kutsekoolis mis tähendab ühtlasi, et õppeprogramm ei ole arvestanud kirjandiga. Meie kooli lõpetajad peaks teoreetiliselt otse tööle minema. Pläma! Vaevalt! Vähemalt kunstnikud ei saa seda teha. Õudne kui lõdva kõik on! Kui seda kahe kuu pikkust praktikat ka 0lnud poleks, siis ei oskaks ma absoluutselt mitte midagi!
Teadagi, käisin praktikal Tallinnas. Sain sealt palju juurde. Rohkem kui ma algul loota oskasin või võiksin õelda, et isegi rohkem kui loota julgesin. Leidsin Tallinnast midagi imelist. Midagi mis aitab mind siia maani toime tulla kõige ümbritsevaga. Ma ei taha õelda, et ma muidu hakkama ei saaks, aga see üks asi on mind aidanud igast küljest. Võib natuke ehmatada, kui ma ütlen, et see ei ole minu kallim. See on hoopis enesekindlus. Julgus olla mina ja enda eest seista. Tänu sellele julgusele olen teinud otsuseid mida ma ei oskaks eales kahetseda. Olen teinud asju mille üle tunnen rohkem uhkust kui kommunist oma riigi üle. Tõsi, tänu sellele enesekindlusele mida Tallinn minusse süstis olen ma suutnud lahti õelda ühest pikast suhtest ja alustanud uut. See kord inimesega kes võttis mind esimesest silmapilgust sõnatuks. Esmalt ta küll lummas mind oma iluga, aga siis leidsin temas veel midagi rohkemat. Temas on sära mis kütkestab mind.
Ja nüüd ongi nii, et ma ei suuda millegile muule keskenduda. Lausa häbi tunnistada, et see tunne on hea. Ainuke asi mida ma ei kannata on see, et tema minust nii kaugel on. Vajan seda inimest vahetult ja tihti. Ta teab seda.
Aga ega elu ei koosne ainult kallimatest ja soojadest tunnetest. Räägin teile viimasest paarist päevast. Ausalt õeldes ma ei mäleta täpselt millest ma eelmises blogis rääkisin, aga praegu alustame eilsest.
Eile, neljapäeval, pidi toimuma bändi proov. See on meil iga neljapäev nii. Aga see kord ilmusid kohale ainult mina (kui keegi ei tea veel, siis mina mängin bassi) ja Henri (kitarrist). Istusime mingid minutid seal, tegime mõned korrad meie uue loo läbi ja jämmisime natuke. Tekkis mure, et kuhu kõik teised jäävad ja Henri helistaski nad üle. Nad ei tulnud. Seega tuju oli rikutud ja panimegi pillid kotti. Teel proovist ära, jalutas vastu Kaupo (trummar). Tegi imestunud näo pähe ja ei saanud aru kuhu me läheme. Ei olnud eriti tuju seletada. Sain parem kokku Crefyga. Ta viis mind dekoori. Seal sain kokku Hardi, Urmeti, Taneli ja Madisega. Läksime koos Jürka poe poole. Elina helistas ja tahtis minuga kokku saada, et napsutada. Sellise tuju peale nagu minul oli ei sobinud midagi paremini kui mingi odav peet! Kui seltskonna kokku olime saanud, läksime Crefy juurde. Tema vanemad olid kodust länud. Nädala lõpuni on ta üksi, kui ma valesti aru ei saanud. Seal saime olla vaid kuni 23:00. Rena (kes tuli Elinaga koos meie seltsi) pidi bussijaama oma kingadele vastu minema ja nad mõlemad pidid olude sunni öö minu pool veetma.
Hommikul ei saanud Elina algul end voodist lahti. Muud huvitavat ei olnud. Esimene tund oli graafika. Tegin oma linooliga 2 tõmmist. Seejärel läksin linna ema tööjuurde, lootes, et viimane juba seal on. Pidin tema käest järgmise tunni jaoks praktika lepingu võtma ja ka Elina maha jäetud telefoni. Jõudsin napilt täita lüngad oma lepingus enne selle kaitsmist. Kõik mõõdus hästi.
Täna olin Vallikraavi Veeralli ajal Suur Töll. Ürituse üks maskottidest. Teist aastat juba selles kostüümis. See aasta oli eriline, sest sain omale "naise" - Pireti. Üritus oli vahva. Kui autasustamine toimus, saime me "Piretiga" kahe peale espresso masina. See jääb arvatavasti dekoori, et järgmised kunstnikud saaksid turgutust peale pikki pidusid kui on vaja tundides pinke nühkida, aga silm ei seisa lahti, sest öösel "unustati" magada.
Peale selle ei olegi mul midagi lisada tänase päeva kohta. Ahjaa! Mul on tunne, et mu vanemad ei ole kursis, et ma homme kirjandit kirjutama lähen. Ulme. Ei hakka neile ütlema ka. Raudselt hakkavad veel moraali lugema ja pinda käime tekstiga, et miks sa end ette ei valmistanud jne. Lähen parem magama ja võtan asja rahulikult. Tuleb mis tuleb. Mina olen valmis.
Teadagi, käisin praktikal Tallinnas. Sain sealt palju juurde. Rohkem kui ma algul loota oskasin või võiksin õelda, et isegi rohkem kui loota julgesin. Leidsin Tallinnast midagi imelist. Midagi mis aitab mind siia maani toime tulla kõige ümbritsevaga. Ma ei taha õelda, et ma muidu hakkama ei saaks, aga see üks asi on mind aidanud igast küljest. Võib natuke ehmatada, kui ma ütlen, et see ei ole minu kallim. See on hoopis enesekindlus. Julgus olla mina ja enda eest seista. Tänu sellele julgusele olen teinud otsuseid mida ma ei oskaks eales kahetseda. Olen teinud asju mille üle tunnen rohkem uhkust kui kommunist oma riigi üle. Tõsi, tänu sellele enesekindlusele mida Tallinn minusse süstis olen ma suutnud lahti õelda ühest pikast suhtest ja alustanud uut. See kord inimesega kes võttis mind esimesest silmapilgust sõnatuks. Esmalt ta küll lummas mind oma iluga, aga siis leidsin temas veel midagi rohkemat. Temas on sära mis kütkestab mind.
Ja nüüd ongi nii, et ma ei suuda millegile muule keskenduda. Lausa häbi tunnistada, et see tunne on hea. Ainuke asi mida ma ei kannata on see, et tema minust nii kaugel on. Vajan seda inimest vahetult ja tihti. Ta teab seda.
Aga ega elu ei koosne ainult kallimatest ja soojadest tunnetest. Räägin teile viimasest paarist päevast. Ausalt õeldes ma ei mäleta täpselt millest ma eelmises blogis rääkisin, aga praegu alustame eilsest.
Eile, neljapäeval, pidi toimuma bändi proov. See on meil iga neljapäev nii. Aga see kord ilmusid kohale ainult mina (kui keegi ei tea veel, siis mina mängin bassi) ja Henri (kitarrist). Istusime mingid minutid seal, tegime mõned korrad meie uue loo läbi ja jämmisime natuke. Tekkis mure, et kuhu kõik teised jäävad ja Henri helistaski nad üle. Nad ei tulnud. Seega tuju oli rikutud ja panimegi pillid kotti. Teel proovist ära, jalutas vastu Kaupo (trummar). Tegi imestunud näo pähe ja ei saanud aru kuhu me läheme. Ei olnud eriti tuju seletada. Sain parem kokku Crefyga. Ta viis mind dekoori. Seal sain kokku Hardi, Urmeti, Taneli ja Madisega. Läksime koos Jürka poe poole. Elina helistas ja tahtis minuga kokku saada, et napsutada. Sellise tuju peale nagu minul oli ei sobinud midagi paremini kui mingi odav peet! Kui seltskonna kokku olime saanud, läksime Crefy juurde. Tema vanemad olid kodust länud. Nädala lõpuni on ta üksi, kui ma valesti aru ei saanud. Seal saime olla vaid kuni 23:00. Rena (kes tuli Elinaga koos meie seltsi) pidi bussijaama oma kingadele vastu minema ja nad mõlemad pidid olude sunni öö minu pool veetma.
Hommikul ei saanud Elina algul end voodist lahti. Muud huvitavat ei olnud. Esimene tund oli graafika. Tegin oma linooliga 2 tõmmist. Seejärel läksin linna ema tööjuurde, lootes, et viimane juba seal on. Pidin tema käest järgmise tunni jaoks praktika lepingu võtma ja ka Elina maha jäetud telefoni. Jõudsin napilt täita lüngad oma lepingus enne selle kaitsmist. Kõik mõõdus hästi.
Täna olin Vallikraavi Veeralli ajal Suur Töll. Ürituse üks maskottidest. Teist aastat juba selles kostüümis. See aasta oli eriline, sest sain omale "naise" - Pireti. Üritus oli vahva. Kui autasustamine toimus, saime me "Piretiga" kahe peale espresso masina. See jääb arvatavasti dekoori, et järgmised kunstnikud saaksid turgutust peale pikki pidusid kui on vaja tundides pinke nühkida, aga silm ei seisa lahti, sest öösel "unustati" magada.
Peale selle ei olegi mul midagi lisada tänase päeva kohta. Ahjaa! Mul on tunne, et mu vanemad ei ole kursis, et ma homme kirjandit kirjutama lähen. Ulme. Ei hakka neile ütlema ka. Raudselt hakkavad veel moraali lugema ja pinda käime tekstiga, et miks sa end ette ei valmistanud jne. Lähen parem magama ja võtan asja rahulikult. Tuleb mis tuleb. Mina olen valmis.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
i will survive
last night i went out with mr.C. we played some chess and had a mild conversation, nothing big or deep. just chit-chat. :D i won 2 times and let him win one game :P ...ego..
next thing i know the pub we were in was filled with our friends. there were 4 of them, surrounding us from every angle! they said that they had made plans and me & mr.C were in them. OK then! i'm in! (as usual)
so we went to play some pool and we were down to 4 people. (mr.c is a stupid name... his name is actually Crefy, but i call him - Cref) cref and alvin shot some pool, because they had the money. I and madis in the other hand... well, we didn't. so, as we kinda hanged around the table we came up with a game that we gracefully named: HOBO! name comes from the circling-around-the-table-and-checking-the-wholes-for-balls (like they were bottles in a garbage can) movement. it's fun to play.
next stop was a bench basically around the corner from the place we played HOBO in. we were so in to that theme of homeless guys, that we didn't care we had a warm place to go to. instead we chilled on a bench drinking scotish leader. whiskey like real hobos! so we drank and chatted and drank and chatted and suddenly it was 1:30 am.
in the morning i didn't feel good. i didn't get much sleep. sleeping is the kind of activity that has not been around lately. somehow i haven't slept enough so i feel tired all the time. NOW, this morning i mean, i also have a slight hangover and my stomach feels funny. i was pissed at myself. now i really felt like a bum. instead of walking to school, i asked my dad to take me there).
first class was the stupid-ass moronically hard "labor law" lead by an imbecile skinny senile old-fart lady like figurette that i despise in ways not imaginable by any living creature still breathing. three hours in her lesson is pure PAIN!! so... there i was, in her class, already pissed off cuz i am a stupid son-of-a-not-so-bitch asshole. why did i go drinking on tuesday?! she starts with a speech about this being the last lesson for us and there is a HUGE test ahead. *sigh* ok, that's ok. i can handle that?! (-.-) next thing that goes down in the classroom: "...lennart, your last test was a 2 (the grade F if you are american)". FUCK! i hate when something like this goes down! why today?! but it doesn't stop there!!! then my phone rings. it's my "head-teacher" Maila. (before i tell you more, you should understand that this lesson is hard to follow, even when that zombie explains things) "Len you have to go and give an interview to this local radio station. LIVE! you have to be there in an hour or so..." i was like WTF?! i knew that i have to give that speech about some local event sooner or later (thursday to be exact). WHY NOOOOOOOOW?!?! can't it wait?! i can not miss any of these tortuous classes!!!! ARGHH!!!
so, it's the first 15 minute brake after 1 and a half hours in hell and this "school advisor of interests" comes to me and one of my comrades trying to persuade us into going to that stupid radio station TODAY! (-.-) FU WOMAN! are you intentionally trying to fuck up my already hard enough day?! it supposed to be tomorrow! read my lips: TO-MORROW!
after gentle choice of words, using my magnificent skill of charisma, we politely told her to piss off. today is not the day!
and back in the hellhole we went. i guess it took the teacher about 20 minutes to get really angry at us. i don't blame her. i have to admit: it is a delicate subject and hard to follow, but some in our class don't even try! so she goes up in flames with something like
"either those who can't shut the hell up leave, or i leave..." after some silence i saw this isn't going anywhere and i'm not in the mood for any of this. i stood up to leave cuz i knew those who could not keep their pie-holes sealed would follow. i knew they would leave if someone stood up before them, they just lack the courage to stand up first. the teacher locked the door behind us. i waited others to go away and went behind the door to catch the rest of the lesson.
when i returned to the area of safety for artists in my school (a place we like to call Dekoor) everyone was in my face with the queen shite. "you have to meet the embassador... blablabla.. do this and that..." I'M HUNGRY! and then we argued a little about basically nothing. silence followed. and some evil looks. "ok that's it! i'm going to the cafeteria and eat something. call me if you need me..."
I got a chance to cool down. Alvin was eating next to me and i told him what had happened so far. after lunch i had a cigarette. sorry babe. i had to. i needed that.
i re-entered dekoor. feeling a little better. searching for shelter. millions of thoughts running around in my head. i felt numb. maila would not let me leave, because "the people of the queen should be here any minute now". riiiiight. i have to say, i actually needed support at that moment. i really did. unfortunately, the person who could have had given me that support was not around. i felt alone.
Suddenly, a few hours later :D, there they were. the important guys. we shook hands and said hello etc. talked about stuff and then the principal goes something like "..hey. there was a change of plans. we think it's better if one or two guys showed the queen the art rooms instead of having one guy in every room who knows the room best blablablabla..." after realizing that i was one of the guys who has to really get up close and personal with the queen, i felt... fear. disappointment. and i started fading in and out. i was really angry with them! too much responsibility. but at least the meeting ended well. with somewhat positive emotions.
next thing in my list was to get a new haircut. i had time to catch some breath and enjoy the delicate hands of a hairdresser. it helped a lot.*sigh* it's still hard..
and the last bit. this ivo-guy needs his menu covers today! fuck! yet again i feel suffocated by my surrounding. i can't think straight. i'm nervous, edgy, irritated by everything, i say things i don't mean. feels like i'm going crazy! how should i make the covers? every idea has sucked so far. this guy is depending on me!!! arghh! i talked to my girl who was worried. and it seems i insulted her in a way i didn't mean. i'm sorry girl. really sorry! it's hard for me to get a grip right now. words just fly out and the thing i said meant that i need you beside me in situations like this. i need someone to lean on. and because it's hard for me to just BE ME right now. this day has been filled with thoughts of you. you wouldn't imagine! every 2nd thought is about you. about how much i want you to be with me. i feel so puny. it's like a closed circle - one thing leads to another and the other way around.
but i will survive!
next thing i know the pub we were in was filled with our friends. there were 4 of them, surrounding us from every angle! they said that they had made plans and me & mr.C were in them. OK then! i'm in! (as usual)
so we went to play some pool and we were down to 4 people. (mr.c is a stupid name... his name is actually Crefy, but i call him - Cref) cref and alvin shot some pool, because they had the money. I and madis in the other hand... well, we didn't. so, as we kinda hanged around the table we came up with a game that we gracefully named: HOBO! name comes from the circling-around-the-table-and-checking-the-wholes-for-balls (like they were bottles in a garbage can) movement. it's fun to play.
next stop was a bench basically around the corner from the place we played HOBO in. we were so in to that theme of homeless guys, that we didn't care we had a warm place to go to. instead we chilled on a bench drinking scotish leader. whiskey like real hobos! so we drank and chatted and drank and chatted and suddenly it was 1:30 am.
in the morning i didn't feel good. i didn't get much sleep. sleeping is the kind of activity that has not been around lately. somehow i haven't slept enough so i feel tired all the time. NOW, this morning i mean, i also have a slight hangover and my stomach feels funny. i was pissed at myself. now i really felt like a bum. instead of walking to school, i asked my dad to take me there).
first class was the stupid-ass moronically hard "labor law" lead by an imbecile skinny senile old-fart lady like figurette that i despise in ways not imaginable by any living creature still breathing. three hours in her lesson is pure PAIN!! so... there i was, in her class, already pissed off cuz i am a stupid son-of-a-not-so-bitch asshole. why did i go drinking on tuesday?! she starts with a speech about this being the last lesson for us and there is a HUGE test ahead. *sigh* ok, that's ok. i can handle that?! (-.-) next thing that goes down in the classroom: "...lennart, your last test was a 2 (the grade F if you are american)". FUCK! i hate when something like this goes down! why today?! but it doesn't stop there!!! then my phone rings. it's my "head-teacher" Maila. (before i tell you more, you should understand that this lesson is hard to follow, even when that zombie explains things) "Len you have to go and give an interview to this local radio station. LIVE! you have to be there in an hour or so..." i was like WTF?! i knew that i have to give that speech about some local event sooner or later (thursday to be exact). WHY NOOOOOOOOW?!?! can't it wait?! i can not miss any of these tortuous classes!!!! ARGHH!!!
so, it's the first 15 minute brake after 1 and a half hours in hell and this "school advisor of interests" comes to me and one of my comrades trying to persuade us into going to that stupid radio station TODAY! (-.-) FU WOMAN! are you intentionally trying to fuck up my already hard enough day?! it supposed to be tomorrow! read my lips: TO-MORROW!
after gentle choice of words, using my magnificent skill of charisma, we politely told her to piss off. today is not the day!
and back in the hellhole we went. i guess it took the teacher about 20 minutes to get really angry at us. i don't blame her. i have to admit: it is a delicate subject and hard to follow, but some in our class don't even try! so she goes up in flames with something like
"either those who can't shut the hell up leave, or i leave..." after some silence i saw this isn't going anywhere and i'm not in the mood for any of this. i stood up to leave cuz i knew those who could not keep their pie-holes sealed would follow. i knew they would leave if someone stood up before them, they just lack the courage to stand up first. the teacher locked the door behind us. i waited others to go away and went behind the door to catch the rest of the lesson.
when i returned to the area of safety for artists in my school (a place we like to call Dekoor) everyone was in my face with the queen shite. "you have to meet the embassador... blablabla.. do this and that..." I'M HUNGRY! and then we argued a little about basically nothing. silence followed. and some evil looks. "ok that's it! i'm going to the cafeteria and eat something. call me if you need me..."
I got a chance to cool down. Alvin was eating next to me and i told him what had happened so far. after lunch i had a cigarette. sorry babe. i had to. i needed that.
i re-entered dekoor. feeling a little better. searching for shelter. millions of thoughts running around in my head. i felt numb. maila would not let me leave, because "the people of the queen should be here any minute now". riiiiight. i have to say, i actually needed support at that moment. i really did. unfortunately, the person who could have had given me that support was not around. i felt alone.
Suddenly, a few hours later :D, there they were. the important guys. we shook hands and said hello etc. talked about stuff and then the principal goes something like "..hey. there was a change of plans. we think it's better if one or two guys showed the queen the art rooms instead of having one guy in every room who knows the room best blablablabla..." after realizing that i was one of the guys who has to really get up close and personal with the queen, i felt... fear. disappointment. and i started fading in and out. i was really angry with them! too much responsibility. but at least the meeting ended well. with somewhat positive emotions.
next thing in my list was to get a new haircut. i had time to catch some breath and enjoy the delicate hands of a hairdresser. it helped a lot.*sigh* it's still hard..
and the last bit. this ivo-guy needs his menu covers today! fuck! yet again i feel suffocated by my surrounding. i can't think straight. i'm nervous, edgy, irritated by everything, i say things i don't mean. feels like i'm going crazy! how should i make the covers? every idea has sucked so far. this guy is depending on me!!! arghh! i talked to my girl who was worried. and it seems i insulted her in a way i didn't mean. i'm sorry girl. really sorry! it's hard for me to get a grip right now. words just fly out and the thing i said meant that i need you beside me in situations like this. i need someone to lean on. and because it's hard for me to just BE ME right now. this day has been filled with thoughts of you. you wouldn't imagine! every 2nd thought is about you. about how much i want you to be with me. i feel so puny. it's like a closed circle - one thing leads to another and the other way around.
but i will survive!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
how to grab your own balls with your very own right foot
made myself a bracelet out of leather. it looks... middle-agey. loving it!
*a guy named ivo came to me about a week ago and asked me to make him some kind of covers for a menu. actually, i have to make 4 cover that are similar or look the same. they are for a competition. and i don't exactly know how or why, but i accepted. :S
so, now i have tried to make some different versions of the damn thing but nothing has worked out well enough yet. i have to try harder, but the situation has been made difficult, cuz guess who forgot the damn thing right after ivo had left and he needs those covers basicly... tomorrow?! *sigh* i hate when this happens. and it does happen alot to me. why do i keep doing this kind of things a moment before it's too late!? anyways, ivo is leaving on thursday so they have to be ready on wednesday. BUT! i and as it turns out, ivo as well, have this thing going on with the queen of holland or something. and it will basicly take the whole day (tomorrow). i can't let this guy down. he specificly asked for me, so i will make him "Menu Covers of the Century". damn right i will!
*in other news.. :D i miss you! (i understand this is getting old, but i really want you standing atleast next to me so i can feel your closenesness)
*weather: it's actually sunny and warm. looks like summer is FINALLY heading in our way!
mr.C is coming to pick me up and take me home from school. we will go out and play some chess.
i'm tired. i'm hungry. i'm len. i'm still hungry. i'm missing someone. but atleast i'm not wining about any of these things. to be honest, i feel quite modernate. i'm happy with myself at the moment. it is a rare moment ideed!
*SPORTS! ... fu
(by the way, the title has nothing to do with the post i just finished composing)
*a guy named ivo came to me about a week ago and asked me to make him some kind of covers for a menu. actually, i have to make 4 cover that are similar or look the same. they are for a competition. and i don't exactly know how or why, but i accepted. :S
so, now i have tried to make some different versions of the damn thing but nothing has worked out well enough yet. i have to try harder, but the situation has been made difficult, cuz guess who forgot the damn thing right after ivo had left and he needs those covers basicly... tomorrow?! *sigh* i hate when this happens. and it does happen alot to me. why do i keep doing this kind of things a moment before it's too late!? anyways, ivo is leaving on thursday so they have to be ready on wednesday. BUT! i and as it turns out, ivo as well, have this thing going on with the queen of holland or something. and it will basicly take the whole day (tomorrow). i can't let this guy down. he specificly asked for me, so i will make him "Menu Covers of the Century". damn right i will!
*in other news.. :D i miss you! (i understand this is getting old, but i really want you standing atleast next to me so i can feel your closenesness)
*weather: it's actually sunny and warm. looks like summer is FINALLY heading in our way!
mr.C is coming to pick me up and take me home from school. we will go out and play some chess.
i'm tired. i'm hungry. i'm len. i'm still hungry. i'm missing someone. but atleast i'm not wining about any of these things. to be honest, i feel quite modernate. i'm happy with myself at the moment. it is a rare moment ideed!
*SPORTS! ... fu
(by the way, the title has nothing to do with the post i just finished composing)
Len shave the queen
(don't mind the mistakes i have made)
here i am, in my school, in the teachers' room/cabinet wondering about things. everything is so syrreal. i sense this weird unreality around me. my heart, in the otherhand, is filled with joy. i miss you, darling! unfortunately i'm not ready to spill myself on the internet for everyone to see, allthough i wish everyone knew how i feel about You. *kisses*
about this syr part: a day ago i woke up from my bed, not alone. it felt good! the night before i made something special for us. it's been only a month?! in the morning though, the day was filled with emocions. that was because i knew she has to leave today. tried to hold her back as long as i could and that made her allmost miss the bus. skipping school was totally worth the day. after she left, i had to face my head-teacher. it went quite well actually. we talked about things and the teacher agreed on the fact that the day was woth skipping school. nice to have someone so understanding running the place.
anyway, this is where the thing get's weird. i was asked to show a section of our school to the queen of holland?! i guess it was holland, but i didn't pay much attenbtion, my mind was on someone else :P we'll see what will happen. tomorrow i have to practice for the reception.
i have to fininsh now. people around me have started to gather. privacy in need!!
here i am, in my school, in the teachers' room/cabinet wondering about things. everything is so syrreal. i sense this weird unreality around me. my heart, in the otherhand, is filled with joy. i miss you, darling! unfortunately i'm not ready to spill myself on the internet for everyone to see, allthough i wish everyone knew how i feel about You. *kisses*
about this syr part: a day ago i woke up from my bed, not alone. it felt good! the night before i made something special for us. it's been only a month?! in the morning though, the day was filled with emocions. that was because i knew she has to leave today. tried to hold her back as long as i could and that made her allmost miss the bus. skipping school was totally worth the day. after she left, i had to face my head-teacher. it went quite well actually. we talked about things and the teacher agreed on the fact that the day was woth skipping school. nice to have someone so understanding running the place.
anyway, this is where the thing get's weird. i was asked to show a section of our school to the queen of holland?! i guess it was holland, but i didn't pay much attenbtion, my mind was on someone else :P we'll see what will happen. tomorrow i have to practice for the reception.
i have to fininsh now. people around me have started to gather. privacy in need!!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
hands of a grandpa on a coach potato
ola! i have not made a post in a few days. that's because i was busy. really busy. i have a guest in my house(flat). she is in the shower right now. i finished a minute ago. now my hands look old as hell. i was in the shower longer than i usually sleep at weekends.
anyway, i don't have much to say at all. besides the fact that i had a party at my place yesterday and it sucked. i don't know exactly what i was hoping from that event, but what i got was "shite". thank god (i don't believe in him!) i had my precious with me. she fixed it :) thank you! right now i feel like i was on top of the world, NAKED! i feel no shame!!! :D actually, i am naked. i'm only wearing a towel that barely fits me. funny.
what did i do for the past few days? well, on friday, i spent half a day staring at the clock. cuz i was waiting for someone. did stuff... i actually had to ask my girlfriend (at first i accidentally wrote girlfiend. :D kinda looses it's meaning, doesn't it) . she said what we did, but i can't tell you because i could not remember it at first. ok, ok. we went to the castle park with some of my friends. we tried a cocktail (love that word ;P) with champagne and mango juice. we could not find any mango juice and so we went with a nectar. it was a major disappointment.
the next day, we visited the castle walls... no, not the walls, the other things between the castle itself and the moat. what ever... anyway we went there. we were at a high point, we could see far. it was a beautiful day, sunny and everything. we both enjoyed it, hopefully. next up was the party that did not go so well. stupid game. alias. a new version that everyone hates because it is IMPOSSIBLE! -.-
now, here i am. my hand being sucked and my hair still wet. i should go outside for a moment to get some fresh air and get us a Dr. Pepper! + i would like to see the sun. :D haven't bothered myself in to going outside yet. what a coach potato i am.
anyway, i don't have much to say at all. besides the fact that i had a party at my place yesterday and it sucked. i don't know exactly what i was hoping from that event, but what i got was "shite". thank god (i don't believe in him!) i had my precious with me. she fixed it :) thank you! right now i feel like i was on top of the world, NAKED! i feel no shame!!! :D actually, i am naked. i'm only wearing a towel that barely fits me. funny.
what did i do for the past few days? well, on friday, i spent half a day staring at the clock. cuz i was waiting for someone. did stuff... i actually had to ask my girlfriend (at first i accidentally wrote girlfiend. :D kinda looses it's meaning, doesn't it) . she said what we did, but i can't tell you because i could not remember it at first. ok, ok. we went to the castle park with some of my friends. we tried a cocktail (love that word ;P) with champagne and mango juice. we could not find any mango juice and so we went with a nectar. it was a major disappointment.
the next day, we visited the castle walls... no, not the walls, the other things between the castle itself and the moat. what ever... anyway we went there. we were at a high point, we could see far. it was a beautiful day, sunny and everything. we both enjoyed it, hopefully. next up was the party that did not go so well. stupid game. alias. a new version that everyone hates because it is IMPOSSIBLE! -.-
now, here i am. my hand being sucked and my hair still wet. i should go outside for a moment to get some fresh air and get us a Dr. Pepper! + i would like to see the sun. :D haven't bothered myself in to going outside yet. what a coach potato i am.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
the opening of an exhibition and a butler
here i am, home at last!
what a day! there was this opening of an exhibition where i went with my friends and stuffed my face full of sweets, chips and juice. i felt so naughty. but everyone was doing it!
after that we yet again hit the castle park for another round of beer'n'stuff, but i didn't drink beer. i had some SAKE! the real thing! just a zip for tasting, but still SAKE! for your information: I don't drink anymore. well, not at least like i used to.
after that i pretty much spent time in a basement playing my bass guitar. my (our, cuz i don't own them) band was allso there, but... is that important? HELL YES! they are very-very important. like pie! we did some cool stuff today, so i feel good!
oh yes! what a surprise i found at that mess hall where the opening of an exhibition took place. we were just leaving. there was this poster at which we stared and laughed. there were some ill-named bands on there. suddenly one of my friend points out the name of my band. ON THAT POSTER! GOING ON STAGE ON 2nd of may! WTF?! how did i not notice that?! then everyone started laughing... i was like (-.-) "what? ... " . i was shocked! this means, that i can't go to my girl in Tallinn on that weekend. i had everything planned out so well and... damn it! how can thing turn out like this? now i'm a bit sad because this makes things more difficult than they already are. wish i had my own personal jet... and a butler
what a day! there was this opening of an exhibition where i went with my friends and stuffed my face full of sweets, chips and juice. i felt so naughty. but everyone was doing it!
after that we yet again hit the castle park for another round of beer'n'stuff, but i didn't drink beer. i had some SAKE! the real thing! just a zip for tasting, but still SAKE! for your information: I don't drink anymore. well, not at least like i used to.
after that i pretty much spent time in a basement playing my bass guitar. my (our, cuz i don't own them) band was allso there, but... is that important? HELL YES! they are very-very important. like pie! we did some cool stuff today, so i feel good!
oh yes! what a surprise i found at that mess hall where the opening of an exhibition took place. we were just leaving. there was this poster at which we stared and laughed. there were some ill-named bands on there. suddenly one of my friend points out the name of my band. ON THAT POSTER! GOING ON STAGE ON 2nd of may! WTF?! how did i not notice that?! then everyone started laughing... i was like (-.-) "what? ... " . i was shocked! this means, that i can't go to my girl in Tallinn on that weekend. i had everything planned out so well and... damn it! how can thing turn out like this? now i'm a bit sad because this makes things more difficult than they already are. wish i had my own personal jet... and a butler
"i think i have the key..."
yesterday i left school without checking for my keys. i left them in to the lock of my closet in the art classroom. when i reached my home door i had to call my sis for her to come home and let me in. after finishing the trip with mr.C i allso used my sis as the key to let me in. but now! everyone has left home, the door is locked, and I CAN'T GET OUT!! HOW CAN I BE SO STUPID??!! at least i have some good friends who will unlock me and take me to school... :P stupid, huh?!
Good morning Estonia!
Wait a little, my food is in the microwave....
Ok, i'm here.
I woke up around nine (GMT +2) feeling sober, but somewhere between really tired and mildly high on crack. Yes i had some drinks yesterday, so what!? I didn't even get drunk. and i have a pretty good reason for that. and i guess that reason probably reads this blog.
So, I woke up naked (as usual), i have not brushed my teeth yesterday nor have i washed myself. hair messed up and looking like a freaking eagle had made my hair into it's home! eyes, the eyes... well, i already said felt like i was high, so you know how the eyes are. my room looks like hell, literally! clothes in piles on the floor, stuff all over the place and it's as dark as in the darkest depths of hell. PLUS! i really need a shave... I actually managed to skip my first class, but no worries, I did my stuff (and right now, for a second i accidentally wrote "dodo" instead "did" and started laughing out loud) yesterday. and now, i'm still home, eating in front of the PC (thing i usually don't do so early, but i'm so excited about this blog thing), and feeling weird.
(some time passes)
I have stared emptily in to the monitor for five minutes now. Guess i'm out of ideas. *sigh*
I'm feeling lonely. I need my special person, my secret right next to me. 'miss you, girl.
(another five minutes passed)
Oh yeah!!! forgot to tell you about yesterday (i actually have a problem with the word "yesterday", i want to write it like "yesturday", so if i do make that mistake, or any other for that matter, please forgive me. having said that, a song containing "please forgive me.." in it's lyrics started haunting me. i don't know who sings it!).
Well, yestUrday we went to the castle park for drinks, just sat on the grass and had some beer'n'stuff. it's something we do, it's our thing. it went like usual, but we were then longer than before (in this year). Usually we leave somwhere around nine, but yesterday we left at 10 something (pm). but instead of going home, i met up with my best friend - let's call him C. yes, mr.C. so we went for a drive. had some hot-dogs and that's about it. i would be more specific but i have to get dressed. school starts in 20 minutes! and the text is boring anyway. i write my blogs "not-so-short" cuz i want to fill the emptiness i have on this page.
have a wonderful day!
Ok, i'm here.
I woke up around nine (GMT +2) feeling sober, but somewhere between really tired and mildly high on crack. Yes i had some drinks yesterday, so what!? I didn't even get drunk. and i have a pretty good reason for that. and i guess that reason probably reads this blog.
So, I woke up naked (as usual), i have not brushed my teeth yesterday nor have i washed myself. hair messed up and looking like a freaking eagle had made my hair into it's home! eyes, the eyes... well, i already said felt like i was high, so you know how the eyes are. my room looks like hell, literally! clothes in piles on the floor, stuff all over the place and it's as dark as in the darkest depths of hell. PLUS! i really need a shave... I actually managed to skip my first class, but no worries, I did my stuff (and right now, for a second i accidentally wrote "dodo" instead "did" and started laughing out loud) yesterday. and now, i'm still home, eating in front of the PC (thing i usually don't do so early, but i'm so excited about this blog thing), and feeling weird.
(some time passes)
I have stared emptily in to the monitor for five minutes now. Guess i'm out of ideas. *sigh*
I'm feeling lonely. I need my special person, my secret right next to me. 'miss you, girl.
(another five minutes passed)
Oh yeah!!! forgot to tell you about yesterday (i actually have a problem with the word "yesterday", i want to write it like "yesturday", so if i do make that mistake, or any other for that matter, please forgive me. having said that, a song containing "please forgive me.." in it's lyrics started haunting me. i don't know who sings it!).
Well, yestUrday we went to the castle park for drinks, just sat on the grass and had some beer'n'stuff. it's something we do, it's our thing. it went like usual, but we were then longer than before (in this year). Usually we leave somwhere around nine, but yesterday we left at 10 something (pm). but instead of going home, i met up with my best friend - let's call him C. yes, mr.C. so we went for a drive. had some hot-dogs and that's about it. i would be more specific but i have to get dressed. school starts in 20 minutes! and the text is boring anyway. i write my blogs "not-so-short" cuz i want to fill the emptiness i have on this page.
have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Oh well...
this is my fist blog entry. Hmm... and i have nothing to write?! just testing the damn thing out before the real ACTION begins. Hope i don't mess anything up. and or get banner for my blogger name. don't ask me where that came from, just a flash. anyways, i think i could get used to this kind of typing-my-stuff-for-everyone-to-see thing that all of you have going on here so well. only fear is, that i might be a bit boring. i just might be. not sure. not a big writer u know?! and stuff i do are hardly interesting for others. maybe if i wrote down and uploaded my dreams? yeah! that's a cool idea!
Oh yes! i forgot, i have ignored my girlfriend for quite some time now. got a bit carried away. well, she has to wait, it was her idea anyway! but i like it! remind me to say thanks to her when i continue communication with her on msn.
After finishing the last bit, i feel cold-hearted! i have to talk to her now! she has waited enough... and i need to talk to her too, but i'm a man! and men can bare separation from their sweethearts longer that women! NOT! i can't take it anymore, i have to publish my FIRST PEACE OF ART! and by the way, that was her third nudge to me.. see ya!
Oh yes! i forgot, i have ignored my girlfriend for quite some time now. got a bit carried away. well, she has to wait, it was her idea anyway! but i like it! remind me to say thanks to her when i continue communication with her on msn.
After finishing the last bit, i feel cold-hearted! i have to talk to her now! she has waited enough... and i need to talk to her too, but i'm a man! and men can bare separation from their sweethearts longer that women! NOT! i can't take it anymore, i have to publish my FIRST PEACE OF ART! and by the way, that was her third nudge to me.. see ya!
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